Scariest Moment Ever

Zaylee and I had a really scary time this afternoon. I was on the computer while Zaylee and Thomas were playing in Zaylee's room. I suddenly realized that Zaylee was crying in a way that is not normal for her. I'm used to her yelling at Thomas when she's irritated at him, but this was very different. She sounded panicked, and in pain. I got up to see what was the matter.

The worst moment in the world isn't the one when you walk through the door and see what's happening - it's the moment your mind actually registers what it's seeing. What I saw was a rope tied tightly around Zaylee's neck as she stood her closet, her face swollen and purple. The other end of the rope was tied to the closet pole. She was crying desperately that it was choking her, hurting her. I still don't know how she got the rope so tight, I couldn't fit a finger between the rope and her neck. When I ran out and came back with my thread clippers I couldn't even get the clipper blade between the rope and the skin. I had to cut at the rope a little bit at a time, reassuring Zaylee that she would be fine, I was there, everything would be okay. I was reassuring myself too.

After what seemed like forever but was less than a minute, I got the rope cut off of her neck and just held her in my arms for a really long time. I held her a lot more this afternoon and evening than I usually do, cherishing the fact that she is okay.

Zaylee has recovered quite well (we made cookies tonight, she's happy as a clam), though her face and neck are showing the consequences of what happened. There are small red dots all over her face and neck above where the rope was. In some areas, they almost look like freckles. It's where the capillaries burst from the exertion.

 

I never want to go through anything like this as a mother ever again. I'm just so glad she's okay.