I'm talking about Pacifier Overuse.
In most pictures I take of Thomas (not all are posted on the blog) he has the pacifier in his mouth. When he's fussy, my first reaction is to give him the pacifier. If he's happy and I take it away, and he cries, I give it back. He has the pacifier when I put him down for a nap or bedtime. When he wakes up without it during the night, I go in and give it back. When he wakes up in the morning, or after a nap, he immediately looks for the pacifier, which I find and give to him right away. When we sit down to a meal, I take away the pacifier so he'll eat, and as soon as he's done eating he wants it right back.
And if I don't give the pacifier to him when he wants it, he looks like this:
Where did I go wrong? I know that this dependence on the pacifier has to stop. I'm perfectly alright with him using the pacifier to sleep, or to calm down when he's really upset. But I don't want him to feel like he needs the pacifier in his mouth 24-7. And unfortunately, he seems to think that he does! Just now, I took the pacifier away because Thomas was cheerful and in a happy mood. He immediately turned into the scream monster, and hasn't stopped yelling for the pacifier for over ten minutes. I know that as soon as I give it to him, he'll become happy and calm and my sweet little angel once again.
So do I give in and let the binky dependence continue to rule our lives? Or do I crack down and offer the pacifier only for sleeping, and live with the inevitable crying, screaming, and fit-throwing any time it's not in his mouth?
7 comments:
Yup, definitely stop giving him his binki. He needs to get over it eventually. Just give it to him less and less. Also, make a cheesecake for your husband. He'll love it and it'll make thomas happier too.
um...This isn't Jeff...
Okay, it is me.
Haha! That post was hilarious!! But seriously...I think you already know the answer since you have noticed the problem. He obviously knows if he cries, he gets what he wants...the pacifier. My friend did something you might give a try at. She said it was pretty rough the first day or so, but it worked. She snipped the tips off the pacifier. You could try that if you want. But for sure, I wouldn't give it to him if he's crying for it. That does just teach him how to cry to get what he wants. Good luck! I know it's always harder when it's your own child.
Sorry!! I didn't mean the post was funny, I meant your husbands COMMENT was funny. Big difference!!! :)
What's so tough about this, is that ultimately you are the one who knows him best.You know if he is ready or not. I think earlier the better though. I have seen so many older kids walking around with them and it blows me away! :)But I think you can be in tune to when it's best. Like Kaden with his bottle I felt like letting him have it for a little longer was the thing to do. When Spencer was almost a year, I took the bottles from both and it was over. No more. THAT was the right timing...he was ready. Not that he didn't still like or want the bottle, but he was okay without it...
You'll know...test the waters and see...
That is tough. Emma got that way with bottles and then binkies. With both, she would chew on the nipples. As soon as she chewed through the last one that was it. She would chew through it and then ask for another but we just told her they were all gone now and we showed her the cupboard so she could see that it was empty.
With the binky, we just happened to be spending the weekend with Jon's family so it was perfect. She had tons of distractions and was so tired when she went to bed that it was not a big deal at all. I think she asked for it once and then we never heard about it again. Much easier than I expected.
I also agree with Rachel, you'll know when he's ready. If you don't think he's ready to give it up all together, maybe instead of giving it to him when he cries during the day you can distract him with something else. Pick him up and start spinning or dancing or give him a treat or go outside...whatever he likes. That always helped with Emma. Good luck!
Tough one. With William being 2, we will take it away if he has found one, uually, and tell him "not a baby!" Little singsong voice. If he is sick or hurt, bedtime and naptime, he can have it. We actually started taking it away more and more starting at about Thomas's age. "Uh oh! Silly goose, you don't need that!" (seriously, the singsong voice works wonders) Then we would put it up somewhere that we could find it come bedtime, give him a hug or kiss and leave him with a toy or book or blanket, then walk off.
Yes, it is really rough, but I found with mine that if I acted like it was a huge deal, so did they. I have to be nonchalant. They all got used to us popping it out of their mouths... They would protest a minute, but would calm down quickly because they knew the screaming for it wouldn't do any good. While I was starting the whole process I made sure to give them lots of cuddles and book readings and block buildings. That really helped too.
William is 2 and still has his. He is smaller than the other 2 were and seems to be ready for things later. Like changing beds and stuff. So he will probably have it for a little while longer, but it is on our terms, not his. Most times I don't have it when we run errands unless I know he is very tired! If you are wanting to start limiting his time, and for speech purposes I would highly recommend it-trust me, you can call me when the screaming is driving you nuts! ;-) Go slowly though. During the day is fine, but you can still pop it back in it night. Until he is older, then you take it away all together.
And don't feel like a bad mom. I realized with each of my boys about this time that I was doing the same thing. But after Oren, with the other 2 I knew how to keep them happy and make me feel better. Sleepy, Sick, or Hurt. Hugs, Kisses and Cuddles. Chant that 20 times each time he screams... *wink*
I don't have this problem, so I am no help.
Here is my problem: How do you get your kids to take a pacifier? Neither of mine were ever interested. I know in the long run it is nice and makes things easier since I never have to worry about taking it away etc, but sometimes when they were real little I would have loved it if they would have taken one!
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